6 Integral Qualities of a Good Mother

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Being a mother is one of the most challenging jobs in the world. You’re expected to be an equal parts provider, teacher, good role model, nurturer, and confidant. Leaving many of us questioning what are the qualities of a good mother. In 8 years of motherhood, I’ve never felt like I was acing in all departments at once. There’s an ebb and a flow to what your kids need at different stages of life.

But I did often wonder what the most essential things in motherhood were. Was it spending lots of quality time with my kids? Giving them plenty of positive reinforcement? Or did it go deeper? Here’s the thing, if you’re even questioning it, you’re probably a good mother. But let’s break it down anyways and explore some of these qualities so you can feel more confident in your parenting skills.

Top 6 Qualities of a Good Mother

• Unconditional Love
• Empathy 
• Intuitive 
• Self Compassionate 
• Nurturing 
• Accountability

Unconditional Love

Good moms don’t expect anything from their children in return for their love; they give it freely and unconditionally, no matter what. When your children know that you will always love them no matter their mistakes or how far away from home they go, it gives them a strong foundation for success. 

I’ve come to find that a great mom shows unconditional love for her children. She doesn’t make them earn it; even when they are upset with her, she still shows love. She knows a mother’s love can heal most wounds. If having a good mother-child relationship is vital to you, lead with love.

Empathetic 

Being a good mother comes with many qualities, but arguably the most important is empathy. The ability to recognize and understand another individual’s feelings from their point of view is invaluable. The ability to validate our kid’s feelings, even when they’re as minuscule as not getting their favorite color lollipop from the well-meaning cashier, is so vital in a child’s life.

Empathy is the key to connecting with your child, even in hard times. Taking a breath and looking at things from their perspective can help them feel heard without letting bad behavior slide. It’s an admirable way of communicating that encourages understanding and growth for both parent and child. From a young age, our kids can learn empathy from our examples.

Authoritative parents who subscribe to the “you have nothing to cry about logic” are typically under the impression that having empathy for their kids is for permissive parents. That could not be farther from the truth. Being an empathetic parent does not mean you never set boundaries. You’re willing to hear your child’s frustrations and validate them when you do.

Empathy enables us to have meaningful, honest relationships that lead to healthy attachments and foster children’s ability for self-awareness and clear communication—allowing them to live a more fulfilling life and develop a healthy emotional support system. To me, it is one of the most integral qualities of a good mom.

Ways to Show Empathy to a Child

• Listen to them. One of the best ways to show empathy to a child is to listen to them. Allow them to express how they’re feeling without interruption or judgment. Just listening and being present can be incredibly helpful for a struggling child.
• Validate their feelings. It’s crucial to let a child know that their feelings are valid and that you understand what they’re going through. This can help them feel seen and heard and can make them feel less alone in their experience.
• Avoid judging. It is important to avoid judging your child when they are sharing their feelings with you. Even if you disagree with what they are saying, try to see things from their perspective. This will help them feel like their feelings are valid and that you are trying to understand them.
• Show them you care. There are many ways to show a child that you care about them and want to help them through whatever they’re going through. Whether it’s hugging them, writing them a note, or simply telling them that you love them, small gestures can make a big difference.
• Be patient with them. Children may not always express themselves as adults do, and it can be helpful to be patient as they try to communicate their feelings. If you’re frustrated, take a deep breath and remember they’re doing their best.
• Refrain from giving advice. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is listen to your child without offering any advice. They may need someone to vent to and do not necessarily want or need your advice. Just being there for them is often enough.
• Show compassion. Try to put yourself in your child’s shoes and imagine how they must feel. This will help you to show compassion towards them and understand their feelings better. Showing empathy will let your child know that you care about them and want to help them through whatever they are going through.
• Offer support. Please support your child in whatever way they may need it. If they need someone to talk to, be there for them. If they need help with something, could you offer to help them? Letting them know you are there for them will impact them significantly.

Intuitive

A great mother can trust her instincts and intuition. This vital quality allows her to respond quickly and effectively to challenging situations without getting stuck in overthinking. She’s in tune with herself emotionally and mentally, pays attention, and manages her feelings, qualities which will eventually create a stronger bond with the child. 

There’s a lot of pressure always to know precisely what to do as a good wife and mother, but it can be challenging. This can lead us to research and ask others how they would handle a specific situation. While there’s nothing wrong with this approach, the best mother will ultimately listen to her gut and do what she feels is the best choice.

When empowered mothers are faced with difficult decisions or unsure how to handle a situation, they can confidently rely on their gut feeling and heart. With this unwavering faith, they go into unknown territory that life frequently throws up at them with all its uncertainties. 

Trusting your instincts is one of the essential qualities of a good mother.

Tips to Tap Into Your Intuition

• Get rid of distractions. One of the best ways to tap into your intuition is to get rid of distractions. This means turning off your phone, putting away your laptop, and silencing any notifications from social media that might be preventing you from focusing. Once you have eliminated distractions, you can focus on your intuition and listen to what it tells you.
• Spend time in nature. Another great way to tap into your intuition is to spend time in nature. When the beauty of nature surrounds you, it can be easier to clear your mind and focus on your intuition. Nature can also provide guidance and answers to questions you may have been struggling with. Human beings are their most present self in nature; it’s mighty.
• Meditate Meditation is another excellent way to tap into your intuition. When you meditate, you can quiet your mind and focus on your breath. This allows you to connect with your innermost thoughts and feelings, which can provide guidance and wisdom. Try my 5-minute guided meditation for busy moms!
• Keep a journal. Keeping a journal is a great way to track your progress as you tap into your intuition. In your journal, you can write down any insights or guidance that you receive from your intuition. Looking back on previous instances when your intuition was correct will help you use it more in the future.
• Be patient. It is important to remember that tapping into your intuition takes time and practice. If you are waiting to receive guidance from your intuition, keep going. Just keep practicing, and eventually, you will begin to connect with this powerful source of wisdom and guidance.

Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is one of the essential qualities of a good mother. This might surprise you, but it’s challenging to be a good mom if you’re constantly beating yourself up for every mistake you make.

Having self-compassion is the thing I struggle most with in life. I can be tough on myself and struggle with showing myself grace. Being a mother is a never-ending and endlessly rewarding journey into uncharted territory. Along the way, it’s important to remember that it’s alright to make mistakes. 

Being a good mother means having enough self-compassion and understanding of yourself to acknowledge and forgive those mistakes without being too hard on yourself. 

Mistakes are an inevitable part of motherhood, but by having self-compassion, you can use those moments to learn, grow, and become an even better mother. Give yourself the same love and acceptance that you give others, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when needed.

What does self-compassion in motherhood look like?

• Not having extremely high standards for how you react in stressful situations.
• Accepting your mental health issues and not letting them affect how you see yourself as a mom
• Talking to yourself the way you speak to your best friend when she’s having a hard time
• Not beating yourself up when you make a mistake. Learn from it and move on. Show yourself grace.

Nurturing 

A good mother works hard to provide her children with a warm and nurturing environment where they can develop and reach their full potential. When children know they are cared for and loved, they are more likely to lead a fulfilled life. This makes nurturing one of the essential qualities of a good mother.

Happy and successful lives are rooted in a good relationship with parents. A feeling of acceptance, nurture and parental love during childhood is one of the best predictors of future success, happiness, and life satisfaction for adults^​.

Munshi J. George E. Vaillant’s ‘Triumphs of Experience: The Men of the Harvard Grant Study.’ NHRD Network Journal. Published online October 2016:102-105. doi:10.1177/0974173920160419

Nurturing is essential to being a mother, as it helps a child grow emotionally and physically, even during difficult times. Good mothers demonstrate qualities that encourage independence and provide the necessary tools to take the first steps toward becoming successful adults. 

The qualities of good mothers develop those qualities already ingrained in young children, like empathy and kindness. With this combination of qualities, children will learn to cooperate with others, understand their emotions, form relationships, empathize with others’ feelings, and practice self-care. 

Ultimately, nurturing qualities help mothers set up their children for future success by teaching them essential skills necessary for effective communication and problem-solving.

Accountability 

Being a good mother means taking personal responsibility and accountability for your actions and being willing to apologize when necessary. A trait held by many great mothers is their self-awareness of their mistakes and their strength in admitting that an apology is due. 

Apologizing shows maturity and can be incredibly difficult; however, it can help guide your children on the importance of reflecting on one’s own behaviors. When mothers model the behavior of owning up to mistakes, it can help teach our kids how to strive for excellence instead of perfection. A sense of responsibility is also how people learn to trust you.

Choosing to apologize is an example of learning from mistakes, so all mothers should maintain this quality to be the best mothers possible. As time goes by, I’m more convinced that being able to accept responsibility for your actions is the best indicator of being a good person. It shows ample personal growth when this skill is learned. We all know someone who can’t ever say sorry; typically, we don’t have a good relationship with that person.

Tips for Demonstrating Accountability as a Mom

• Be a role model. The best way to demonstrate accountability to kids is to be a role model. If you are accountable in your own life, they will see that it is important to you and will be more likely to follow your lead.
• Explain why accountability is essential. Take time to sit down with your kids and explain why accountability is necessary. Please help them to understand that it is a vital part of taking responsibility for oneself and one’s actions.
• Set expectations. Make sure your kids know what is expected of them to be accountable. Clearly state the expectations and ensure they understand what they need to do to meet those expectations.
• Hold them accountable. Once you have set the expectations, it is crucial to hold your kids responsible if they do not meet them. This will help them to understand that you are serious about the importance of accountability and will also help them to learn from their mistakes.
• Reward good behavior. Finally, praise and reward your kids when they demonstrate good behavior in being accountable. This will reinforce the positive behavior and help them see that it is something you value.

Defining Your Own Traits of a Good Mom

Though I find the above qualities of a good mother to be the most important, I encourage you to create your list of characteristics of a good mother and define what that means to you. Maybe being strong and resilient makes your list. Or a good sense of humor makes the best mom. Could you take some time to consider it and make that your top priority?

But above all else, show yourself the compassion to know you won’t always be an excellent example to your kid. You’ll make mistakes, and that’s okay. I hope this list makes you feel like the rockstar mom I’m sure you are.

You Are a Good Mom.

The qualities of a good mother are genuinely extraordinary and heartfelt. A good mother holds her children close in love and understanding, always providing as much care as possible while remaining empathetic, nurturing, and self-compassionating. She is also a role model whose self-compassion and intuition bring the biggest surprise; her unbounded love for us is indestructible and ever-lasting.

It’s no wonder why mothers have continuously been companions to the world’s greatest heroes and accomplishments. There’s no doubt that mothers are some of the strongest superheroes, possessing an otherworld power to protect, empower, hope, comfort, nurture, and ultimately shape us into even greater individuals!

Which qualities are most important to you?